MAY 17: HOPELESSLY LOST IN PARMA

On our way to Parma, we stopped in Fivizzano.  It was a quaint old town where we found a bread store and grocery store where we bought the fixings for a picnic lunch. We found a great location for our feast – Just outside of the town gate, there was a small park with lawn, benches, and a stone wall from which one had a view of the lush valley below. We used the wall as our buffet table, spread out our purchases, and had a wonderful lunch of a baguette, focaccia, sliced tomatoes, prociutto (which Dave had bought on our food tour while in Bologna), pesto, potatoe chips, cheese, and wine.

Not surprisingly, we got lost, and stopped in the very small town of Virgoletta to try to figure out where we were. Joe got out to stretch his legs, and met another woman, so Marge took their photo, and we call it JOE GOT LUCKY #2.

          Getting to our hotel in Parma was not easy, since our hotel is located right in the center of the old part of town, in an area of narrow pedestrian only or one way streets.  We arrived at the hotel during rush hour.   After we unloaded our baggage, we had a choice of trying to find the nearest public parking lot, which would have entailed several twists and turns and about a mile of driving to get to a lot which was only a couple of blocks away by walking, or to return the cars. We opted to return the rental cars to Avis, which the hotel desk clerk said was very easy to get to – NOT!!.   I drove our car and Marge navigated, and Joe drove his car, electing not to bring Ann as a navigator because the desk clerk made the directions sound seem so easy.   As luck would have it, we soon got lost and stopped 5 times to ask for directions.  Even then Marge and I only found it by accident. Joe was following us as closely as possible but when we suddenly stopped at a Y to figure out which to take, he was forced to pick the right one, which unfortunately was the entrance to the Autostrada headed to Bologna. 

Joe says it was the worst day of his life – there he was, on the Autostrada, which has limited exits, he doesn't speak Italian, no passport (the hotel had taken his passport at check in), it was rush hour, he didn’t have the Avis address, didn’t have a map and he didn’t have a navigator.  Marge + I figured out that he had gotten on the Autostrada, but thought that there was absolutely no way he could find the Avis location, and would try to get back to the hotel, although we didn’t know if he would remember the hotel name, much less the difficult directions to get to it.  We had turned our car about 15 minutes before the 7 pm closing time, and the got the man at the desk to stay open past his closing time in hopes that Joe would miraculously find us.  Finally, at about 7:10 pm we decided that Joe would be unable to find Avis, and the Avis man was becoming irritated for having to stay open, so we asked him to call us a cab back to the hotel, and he closed up.

Meanwhile, Joe got off the Autostrada at the next exit, about 10 miles down the road, got back on returning to Parma, and exited where he had gotten on.   Just after he exited the toll booth, he saw a parking lot, drove over a curb to get to it, and parked to try to figure out where to go.  At that point, he looked over to his left and saw the Avis sign across the entrance to the parking lot, which just happened to be the parking lot for Avis.   He dropped the key in the night box, and managed to get the bar next door to call him a cab for the hotel, whose card he had picked up when he checked in. 

We got back to the hotel and immediately went to tell Ann the bad news that Joe was hopelessly lost somewhere, hoping he would arrive back at the hotel some time that night, still alive.  When he knocked on the door about 10 minutes after we arrived, we were all very relieved, and Marge joyfully hugged him.  After that he went the closest bar for a really stiff drink before joining us for dinner.

          For dinner at a nearby hotel, we had their specialty appetizer of fried bread, assorted ravioli, risotto, lasagna, rabbit in a brown sauce, veal, eggplant parmagian (my favorite), mixed veggie salad, red wine + spumante (sparkling white wine).